孤独老人高耀洁

倘若他们一直软禁高耀洁医生到2007年3月领奖期过去,那对于孤独中的老人来说,无异于谋杀。

她是一位享誉世界的中国民间艾滋病工作者,一位行医六十载的妇产科教授,一位每件事就执著于为病人着想的大夫,一位直言敢言真话的公民,一位80岁失去爱侣的老太太——高耀洁,步履蹒跚,渐行渐远渐孤独。

1981年艾滋病在美国出现,九十年代的中国,在政府十余年的宣教之下,中国人认为艾滋病是“脏病”,是“世纪瘟疫”,全民极度恐惧艾滋病但又认为艾滋病离自己很遥远。退休的妇科医生高耀洁教授本可安享天伦之乐,但在一次偶遇的农村孕妇怪病中,高医生凭自身经验判断出一种别人视之为不可思议的可能。她毅然选择为此农妇的病因探寻究竟,争个曲直。1996年她在郑州,与远在周口的王淑平女士分别于两地解开了中原艾滋血祸谜团。与王淑萍女士被逼远走海外不同,年迈的高耀洁医生坚守中原,从此走上了艰难的抗击艾滋病道路,裹过小脚的她跌跌撞撞一走就是十一年。

被曝光的艾滋病疫情有碍河南省乃至中国政府的脸面,高耀洁医生承受着诸多压力和责难。首先是来自河南省领导和公安机关、国家安全机关的“关照”,他们声称所谓“疫情是国家机密”,定义高医生为“妨害国家安全的人”,要求高耀洁医生对艾滋病问题保持沉默。便衣人员窃听或切断高医生的电话,监视她的社会交往并贴身跟踪,不允许她在国内国际会议上发言,限制她出境甚至曾阻止老人前往北京,她经常考察的艾滋病地区县乡政府设置守卫“500元奖赏举报高耀洁”……即使高耀洁医生先后获得多项国际、国内大奖,会见吴仪副主席之后,她被公安监视、骚扰的情况也依然持续,只是形式从公开、赤裸裸的威胁转变为暗中严密的压制。

当地政法部门逐渐意识到,直接威胁高耀洁医生也不能动摇其为艾滋病感染者、患者及家人呼吁、救助的信念,他们转向了高耀洁医生的子女。威胁、恐吓其儿子、儿媳娘家、女儿和女儿婆家,闹得家不能宁,已步入中年的儿女前途黯淡。在强大政权面前倍感无能为力的子女们,为了能有平安幸福的生活,转而劝老人放弃艾滋病工作。而同为医生的小女儿由于所在单位的压制,不得不远走加拿大,到一个她的医生资格得不到承认语言又不通的国家生存,并且也铸下了母女俩人的裂痕。高耀洁医生念及自己的小女儿,心中内疚不能平息,经常为此伤感落泪。唯一默默支持她的家人,81岁老伴郭明久,20064月因病去世。郭老先生是高医生最早也是忠实的“志愿者”,从此高医生只身一人。虽然有年轻的志愿者们往来于邮局取包裹,帮高医生把资料邮寄到全国各地,但毕竟无法填补老人内心的孤寂。刚失去老伴的高耀洁医生,突然更老了,经常坐着良久不语,听力也下降,在空荡荡的屋子里孤独徘徊。过了1个月就用更加忙碌地工作来冲淡心中的思念:整理各地艾滋病病人来信、撰写编辑艾滋病相关的文稿和书籍、印刷更多的艾滋病教育资料、为上门求助的艾滋病病人解困、还为那些求子的妇女义务看病。

在国内,艾滋病感染者、病人及其家人的苦苦抗争,民间艾滋病工作者的坚持参与,中国艾滋病问题在经历SARS的国际压力下才有了些许转机。政府开始正视:对人民而言,保障健康权和生命权的公共卫生与维持温饱一样重要。2004年中国中央政府执行贫困艾滋病患者“四免一关怀”政策是一个里程碑,老百姓第一次有了针对艾滋病的药物。艾滋病疫情也不再成为“国家机密”。高耀洁医生门庭若市,除了和以往一样慕名求医求子的妇女,还有一批批来访的记者、医生、政府人员、学生志愿者、致力于艾滋病工作的年轻后辈、艾滋病感染者或患者及其家人,当然,也包括求名求利的商人或骗子……于公于私,可以说踏入门槛的,无不有求于老人,除了骗子,高耀洁医生都耐心一一给予,连老伴病危时也不例外。

然而,在热闹喧嚣中,高耀洁医生的孤独有增无减。过去,她只需要与实施压制迫害的政府保守势力较量,只需努力地说服自己的儿女们为母亲的追求一道承受代价;如今,她不但要抵挡暗中压制的地方政权以求捍卫自身生存和工作空间,还要抵制各色上门求名求利的骗子;对那些艾滋病工作中日益激烈争夺艾滋病资源,迷失方向“吃艾滋病饭”的晚辈们,高耀洁医生不断发出质疑棒喝;当河南政府划出38个艾滋病重点示范村以应对国内外舆论压力时,高耀洁医生不顾当地政府的“脸面”大声疾呼“还有多得多的艾滋病村不为人所知”,呼吁打开艾滋“黑洞”;她坦言艾滋病问题现在根本没到“一片叫好、诸多示范”高奏凯歌之时;当中央宣布艾滋病拨款几千万、几个亿时,高耀洁医生看到基层政府滥用救助款,打击上访维权的艾滋病群体,老人痛心呼吁社会共同监督;当一些掌握社会话语权者说“卖血感染艾滋病已经成为历史”、政府官员和专家们只提艾滋病主要由性和注射吸毒者传播时,高医生接待了许多在医院输血感染艾滋病求助无门的感染者,虽遭各级政府“劝解”,但仍然坚持公开表达自己的观点:输血传播艾滋病问题至今严重,黑血站并未绝迹,血液安全问题应当引起社会着重关注;当国际社会为中国新兴艾滋病民间力量欢欣鼓舞时,老人也时不时泼冷水:慈善事业并非净土,名利交织加没有完善的相关法律,并非所有参与者都是真正做事情的民间组织,争权夺利的假“NGO”谁去鉴别和问责……

高耀洁医生的孤独,渐渐地走向了悲观。面对面谈心,老人每每提到自己“恨不得自杀死了”、“早死早解脱”、“我的日子不多了”,“现在所做就是为自己料理后事”。为什么我们民族的骄傲,一位可亲可爱的老人,竟陷入绝望中?正如她每一次送给学生志愿者们的话语所示:“一不说假话,二不办假事,三不造假货”,她坚守一个真实艾滋病疫情下的中国。然而,在顾及人情脸面、名声利益的现今社会,年迈的她渐渐有心无力与谎言帝国的暗流相抗衡。为中国抗击艾滋病的事业,为我们的长辈不致晚年凄怆,后生们无需豪言壮语,只要轻轻地问自己:我说谎了吗?我默认谎言了吗?  

后记:完稿当天,我们与为3月赴美领奖乘机来北京办理签证的高耀洁医生失去联系。后证实高耀洁医生因当地政府人员阻止未能来京。2001年当地政府不发给高耀洁医生护照以阻止其出国领奖;2007年的今天,当地政府为阻止老人出国领奖,软禁高耀洁医生,又一次迫使80岁老人失去自由。陪同她的志愿者,也失踪了。

曾金燕   200724 于北京BOBO自由城。

附上高耀洁医生赴美领奖的邀请函。

October 26, 2006

DELIVERY VIA EMAIL  

Dear Dr. Gao Yaojie,  

The Vital Voices Global Partnership would like to honor you for your work  to promote legal rights among women in China at our 2007 Annual Leadership Awards and Benefit, at the John F. Kennedy Center for Performing Arts on March 14, 2007. 

Your work to promote gender equality in China by building partnerships between the private and public sector exemplifies the work that Vital Voices has been promoting through our leadership and capacity-building trainings.  We believe that women’s participation in all sectors of society is vital as no country can prosper if half of its population is relegated to the margins of society. We are dedicated to supporting emerging women leaders in building democracies and strong economies through leadership training at our Global Leadership Institute in collaboration with Georgetown University.  Through our training program we have developed a global network of women leaders, which provide support and links to others who are confronting comparable challenges.  Please also find the attached brief overview of Vital Voices history, mission and activities.   

You will be joined on stage by Senators Hillary Rodham Clinton and Kay Bailey Hutchison, as well as actresses and activists Sally Field and Julia Ormond; and women leaders from around the world.  Vital Voices will arrange and cover all international travel and accommodations for arrival the United States on Tuesday, March 6th and departing on or about March 15th.  A full schedule of activities in Washington, DC and New York will follow including receptions being hosted in your honor, high-level meetings with US government officials, and public forums at the World Bank, Council on Foreign Relations and Georgetown University.  The Leadership Awards Benefit on March 14th will take place at the Terrace Theater at the Kennedy Center.  There will be a reception at 6:30pm on the roof-top terrace, followed by the award ceremony at 7:30pm, and a buffet dinner at the conclusion of the event at 8:30pm.  If there are guests you would like to invite to join you, we will be happy to have them.

We will be honored if you join us this March to celebrate all of your accomplishments on behalf of women in your country and throughout the world.   Please lest us know by Friday, November 24th if you are able to join us in celebrating women’s achievement, so that we may begin making arrangements for your visit.  If you have any questions, please contact Wenchi Perkins, who will be coordinating your participation, travel and schedule, at (202)- 861-2625 ext. 3015.  Thank you.

Sincerely yours,

 

Melanne Verveer

 

Wenchi Yu Perkins

Chair, Board of Directors

 

Director, Anti-Trafficking and Human Rights

 

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